I - Part 4

If you expect me to say I'm your friendly neighborhood then you are wrong. Nor am I just a regular guy around.

I am totally different from what you perceive to be. Not the smartest not the sexiest not the ugliest and definitely not the brightest.

The feeling of being a "Gaijin" never leaves me and haunts me 24/7.
The not so welcome everywhere.

It's not an issue anymore as I have learnt to live with it.

I can guess what you are thinking. Yes, it was not like this before.

Happiness, joy, anger, sad was all something that never existed in my world.
Peace and nothingness were the only one that existed.
No people no world.

The moment I came to earth, and came into contact with earthlings, my world changed which was just empty.

The usefulness of a cup is in its emptiness is a line by Bruce Lee.
So that means you want to use the cup.
What if the cup doesn't want to be used?

My peaceful world was suddenly filled with the emotions of an average earthling and before I could realise what happened I was just carried away with every emotion.

It was then I understood, earthlings are ones who are so dumb enough to believe what everyone says and so numb enough to not verify it.

Snapping me out from my thoughts, the door opened. A guy who claimed to be my father came. Lifted me, changed me, fed me while speaking a strange language with strange expressions which I perceived to be human emotions. He then placed me in something that had cushions and was small enough just to accommodate me. So small that the father who was standing beside me was so huge, I felt like a dwarf.

The thing started moving. It felt good as though I was gliding above the surface.
And then it came, the Sun.

Oooh, I have that Sun. Not because it ate someone's planet, but I'm just allergic to bright light. And I wanted to shout aloud. But I had no control over my vocals and all that was coming out was a noise. The light was so disturbing that the pain made me cry, out loud.
Then a women, who was walking wit the father and who claimed to be my mother did something and the light was blocked in entering my face.
"Wow, a shade" I thought, then I received a kiss on my forehead that made all my pain go away.
Magic. And I couldn't stop noticing that my face was actually smiling.

It was then I assumed that my body had adjusted to the human environment.

And I thought it was the end...

Whispering a Secret

A black sky ascends, promising judgment
For an endless realm of squander and pain
Reeking a soul for a soul, nothing less
Symbolic arrival of the dark commander

Clouds scorched through the heat
Of a jarring sun, broken and stained
Hour hand hit another usual morning
A blackhole of void deeply entrenched

Winds blaze through the rusted plains
The soil casted by the lifeless philosophies
Claws of whispering death in disdain
Our self-deception is the commander’s trophy

Are we heading towards an eternal glory
And to what cost do we bear this
Earth has been mutilated and amputated
To a point of never return , commander’s bliss

Feeding a cancerous foundation of
Misplaced wisdoms through out  the civilizations
Commander prepares his whiplash
And smiles at the thorns of our abomination

We have injected a catalogue of distorted ambitions
Falsified, Morbid and Smoldering rot
Claims of dissonance in our faithless murals
And a reality burned alive, point blank shot

Bound to absolutely nothing, scaled beyond
Horizons after horizons the earth is raped
Depleted, Tortured and tormented every hour
Destruction awaits , silently at the 9th gate

Casement of slanderous initiations
A thousand ways to save our souls burned
Glimpse of our numbness and tranquility
At the hands of the time , pages have turned

Hear the skies burst , the volcano erupt
the quake and tsunamis , the grand master’s plan
Mother nature hails the black commander’s arrival
A much needed clean up job, the grand master’s plan

With thy commander , my allegiance stand !



p.s: Feels good to write here after 3 years.. My regards to all , Rags !

Waxed is my soul

How shall I soothe, how shall I stop
This screeching scorching pain,
I’m afraid to go out because
I fear I’ll melt with rain . . .

Beneath the black blur
My tears turn tough
My moans mix in mist,
My ride remains rough . . .

Waxed is my soul,
Stained, no longer sane,
I’m afraid to go out because
I fear I’ll melt with rain . . .

A heap of blurred images,
ever suitable to the last breath,
beyond the paranormal expanse
of the human peculiarity called life...

regarding

I’m twenty-five.

Mushy brains and mushier guts.

I have to make jokes to keep talking.

Observation, situation,

I make fun of what I see you might laugh at if I make fun of it.

And sarcasm: my wingman.

I’m twelve again.

Shit for brains.  Guts scared shitless.

I can’t start myself talking.

You’re watching, listening,

laughing at me laughing at what you’ll laugh at.

With Sarcasm, my protector.

I regress in a matter of minutes.

Confident then.  I can’t now.

Because you’re smiling.

You’re looking at me.

You’re not looking at him

and he needs you to look at him…

I just want you.

I’m twelve again.

Deciding what’s wrong is wrong.

Choosing what’s right.

Right now I can’t choose you.

Because he doesn’t have you.

Because I was taught to help the helpless,

those who have less than me.

I can’t because he can’t.

I’m twenty-five.

My brain stops what my heart wants.

My gut tells me to listen.  My hands reach to take.

They all want you but I can’t choose you.

He’s my friend.  He needs you.

But maybe I need you.

Help the helpless,

those who have less.

Neither of us can have you.

Though without you,

no one has less than me.

photo:http://farm1.staticflickr.com/83/214469722_93d2dcf000_b.jpg

मोहब्बत भी अज़ीब हैं

मोहब्बत भी अज़ीब हैं....
उसकी मुस्कान से हो जाती हैं
और उसकी आंखो मे खो जाती हैं

मोहब्बत भी अज़ीब हैं....
दिल की सुन लेती हैं
ख्वाब बुन लेती हैं

मोहब्बत भी अज़ीब हैं....
लफ्जो का सहारा लेती हैं.
और लबो को बंद कर देती हैं.

मोहब्बत भी अज़ीब हैं....

(चिराग)

It’s been long that I wrote

It’s been long that I wrote
Long enough to make you feel that I am gone
To the weirdest realm of life
From where came back none!

It’s being long that I said how much I love you
For not that I have stopped loving
For not that I have stopped living
The dreams that we saw – together, once.

It’s being long that we sat together
Hand in hand; eyes in eyes.
You and me, all alone in the darkest nights
Hugging each other and bidding goodbyes.

It’s been long, I know
For I miss you all the same
Now that you are in my closest vicinity,
So close, that I don’t even have to take your name.

Come, once more
We have many more dreams to realize
Together, that we dreamt one day
From the depths of hearts, let us rise
Again, and live those wonderful moments
Come, once more
Into my arms – slowly but surely
Like olden times.

I promise, I will write more
I know we will love more
A few steps you take forwards, I’ll take a few
My heart is still filled with love
And, I love you…

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